Here’s to a week for the unconventional before and after photos, National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. For most of my life, I’ve been heavier, and consequently shamed and belittled for my weight. When I started college, however, I weighed 103 pounds, was eating 400-600 calories a day, doing about 90 minutes of cardio daily, and most importantly, I was anorexic. I was 15 pounds underweight, but no one thought to say anything because they were too busy applauding me for my unnatural weight loss. This is me calling them out. This is my telling them they were wrong. This is me thanking my real life and tumblr friends for everything they done to get me to the wonderful place I am today. So fuck you traditional pictures of “healthy”, I may be fat, but I beat my eating disorder.
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You died on a Saturday morning. And I had you placed here under our tree. And I had that house of your father’s bulldozed to the ground. Momma always said dyin’ was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn’t.
Little Forrest, he’s doing just fine. About to start school again soon. I make his breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I make sure he combs his hair and brushes his teeth every day. Teaching him how to play ping-pong. He’s really good. We fish a lot. And every night, we read a book. He’s so smart, Jenny. You’d be so proud of him. I am. He, uh, wrote a letter, and he says I can’t read it. I’m not supposed to, so I’ll just leave it here for you.
Jenny, I don’t know if Momma was right or if, if it’s Lieutenant Dan. I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. I miss you, Jenny. If there’s anything you need, I won’t be far away.